Fahrenheit 451 and The Night Thoreau Spent in Jail

Henry David Thoreau and Guy Montag are both stubborn and rebellious.  Throeau didn't pay his taxes and he wasn't about to pay them even if it meant getting out of jail and he wasn't leaving because someone paid them off for him.  Montag hid books and he wasn't ever persuaded to stop with the books even when his boss caught on to him.  He stayed with Faber and ran away-- he deserted everything he knew to follow what he felt was right.  

Also Thoreau and Montag were both kind when they didn't have to be.  When the black man showed up at Thoreau's cabin, he was offered food and called sir and was helped out, when really most people wouldn't have been nearly as kind.  Montag talked with Faber once and a year later remembered him and talked to him and when he found out about Faber's books Montag didn't do what was expected of him and his job as a firefighter and he listened and talked with Faber and befriended him.  He planned with him and he helped him cover his tracks when he ran away.  

Officer Beatty and Deacon Ball are both not the nicest folks but they differ in how they act.  While Ball is upfront, loud, pompous and authoritative, Beatty is sneaky yet intimidating and he is smart.  He thinks about what he says and his words are meant to make one slip up.  Ball, hen scolding Thoreau, is sticking to what was accepted as what is right to do according to popular vote and those are the same issues Beatty deals with-- he is for the burning of books-- but he uses books to his advantage.  Instead of just telling Montag to do something he will quote a book and famous authors and ask complex questions to get what he wants from whomever he's talking to.  

In the end both Thoreau and Montag are free.  Henry is out of jail and Guy is safely hidden between towns with a group of men ho memorize books.  While they are escaped from their prison- both figuratively and literally- they aren't happy about it really. Thoreau still doesn't want to pay his taxes and he is still firm in his opinions and Montag is in this whole new way of life-- no wife no Faber no job and its a bit discomforting.  Both the books leave off right when they get free though and don't go into what happens later, which lets the reader guess.

Fahrenheit 451 and Billy Budd

        Ray Bradbury's novel Fahrenheit 451 has connections to Herman Melville's Billy Budd in plot structure and general ideas on beliefs and how one can stray from them and the consequences of doing that.  Bradbury's novel and Melville's both have their main character depart from the society or place that they were used to and felt comfortable with and changed their surroundings and actions and met new people and ended up facing consequences for their shift.  Budd's old life caught back up to him when he was hanged-- he departed from Rational beliefs to Romantic ones and he ended up killing a man and the judges weighed in on this rationally and so he couldn't escape his past.  Guy Montag in Fahrenheit 451 rebelled against social norms and laws in his community when he brought home many books and paired up with Faber to take down the firemen.  His acts got him in trouble and he almost died which ended up with him killing the man who was accusing him, just as when Budd killed his accuser.
        When Montag decided to be upfront about his having books and he showed his wife and her friends he was met with trouble when his wife turned him in and when her friends freaked out and didn't know what to do.  Being in a society that dictates everything for you without you knowing anything made the knowledge of really anything unusual-- books, literature, not up to date facts-- made people stand out and get in trouble.    After killing his boss, Montag was yet again faced with a decision-- he could run away or be found out.  By choosing to run away Montag was making the decision to distance himself completely from his past society and when he met the men in the woods it was like a new start.  Budd got a new start when he left his first ship and he got another one when he died.
        Both Montag and Budd escaped everything that was holding them back in their society and in their endeavors through leaving-- by death and by foot.  That meant that they had new problems to face but none as bad as before and nothing they weren't ready to handle-- Montag would rather fight for books and knowledge is he had to rather than being stuck burning them and hiding them and keeping its secret.  Budd  no longer has to be accused of mutiny and he doesn't have to deal with anyone doubting him or changing up where and how he lives.

Fahrenheit 451 and Puritanism

         In Fahrenheit 451 there is a connection to Puritanism in many ways.  One big one is the gap between the government/authority and the people which is similar to the gap between God and the people.  The people in the community in the book don'r have any idea about the government or what it does and its like this overarching power that has all these rules and set ways and it plays God in the society.  In Puritan times they didn't know what God was they just believed in Him and trusted that He was responsible for everything and that all that He did they deserved.  People in this book feel the same way about their authority.

         Another connection is that Puritan  society and ways were set to help people understand the society better.  The simple jingles that play in the earpieces and around town and the soap operas that play on the televisions, the fast cars and no books or thinking for oneself all happen under the idea that a simple society in which if the people know less they are better off is all the government's way of making the citizens understand everything better.  If something happens its because someone broke the law- they had a book or they asked too many questions, which the government and firemen don't like.  Then there's the level of access-- everyone can get a television or ear buds and if not they hear the jingles in public places and there's a fix for everything, like when Guy's wife overdosed men came over and fixed her and she was none the wiser.  This idea of people understanding what was going on as they chose to understand it and how the government wants them to understand it is similar to Puritanism and then the easy access to at least some influence of the ideas-- Puritans could just believe and thank God for what he did and that was enough and in Fahrenheit 451 all a citizen has to do is follow the crowd.  

           Just as Puritans feared and revered God, citizens in Montag's world fear and revere the authorities.  The firemen and the men who come if you do something bad-- they don't want to get in trouble and if a firemen showed up at their door they'd freak out just as Puritans would freak out when someone would say that God wasn't real or something along those lines because they would get scared of what He would do-- same goes for how the citizens would be if someone they knew announced they had books, as Guy did to his wife and her friends.   This book also connects to the idea of a city on a hill in that everything is seemingly perfect and it's all to make everyone's life easier and it all coheres with the beliefs most have about books and the societal rules.  The idea that if one gets bored they can go speed race or be a part of a "family" or just call men over to fix the problem completely strives to put the image of a perfect society in the reader's mind if there were no downsides to it, such as are hardly seen by Puritans unless they look hard, in which case they are punished, like in Montag's society.  One can get the problem fixes no problem no questions asked.  

         The last way in which Fahrenheit 451 and Puritanism connect is the idea of limited atonement.  The only difference is that the ratios of those who were in good standing are switched- more are better off in Montag's society than in Puritanism.  If one doesn't think for themselves and don't read or ask too many questions they are better off and wont get a second glance whereas one wrong question or a book in your hands will warrant trouble and punishment.  In Puritan times the atoned were only around ten percent of the population and they were in good standing mostly because of predestination but they were still in good standing, as the citizens in Montag's society were for the most part.

         

Fahrenheit 451 and American Literature Project

A topic I am seriously considering researching for my American Literature project is how the author develops relationships between both the main character and whats considered normal for his life or in his society and the main character and some abnormality in his society or life.  I've noticed in the two outside reading books I've read, Anthem and Fahrenheit 451, both have main characters that end up involved in situations with people and objects that aren't acceptable in their society and ones that are foreign to their normal way of life.

In Anthem, Equality 7-2521 end up completely defying social norms and making electricity from objects found underground, found by breaking the rules, and he runs away with the Golden One, who he met while working.  Rebelling from the social norm of following the same daily routine every day once one gets assigned is a big deal in the book and is a big idea to have in the book.  Throughout American Literature the idea of rebellion can be found within the texts whether embedded in the whole plot or in the subtext of a few words, and it makes an impact either way.

In Fahrenheit 451, Guy ends up involved with a girl who is considered odd for their society and he has a book, something forbidden in their society.  He also is in cohorts with Faber to keep books from being burned by firemen.  He met Faber while walking in the park and he chose to meet up with him again and make this plan.  He is rebelling from the social norms of not really thinking and not reading, Guy does not just want to go on with his life watching meaningless soap operas of his "family" and speeding in his car down the highway.  When he actually thinks about whats going on in his society and sees the problems with it he decides to do something about it and by making radical decisions to go through with his plan the idea of rebellion again shows up.

By looking at this idea of rebellion throughout American Literature, maybe its possible to connect the radical-ness of the ideas in bestsellers to actual rebellions or big changes in the real world during the same time period.  As far as the idea of looking for movie/TV show/play connections to this book I can find none but the idea of books being an illegal object and the super controlled society in which people can not think for themselves is an idea seen in many.

Outside reading and my definition of American Literature

Part of my definition about what I believe American Literature is is that it has developed in time periods that were influenced by large events in a society and the works within those time period follow that but are similarly influenced by smaller events public as well as personal to the author. 

Rand’s influence for actually writing her book Anthem came from reading a futuristic-ally based story in the Saturday Evening Post, and realizing that the story she had come up with in her head as a result of hearing news about Soviet Russia in school might actually be able to go somewhere.  The idea that there is this man who runs away from a society that isn't accepting of innovation and creativity has similarities to what happened in Rand’s life when she ran away from Communist Russia in 1926 to come to America and write.  In her novel, the idea of the “ideal” society that the Councils strive to maintain and the one that Equality 7-2521 and the Golden One strive to create draws on ideas from famous men, such as Thomas More and John-Jacques Rousseau, who wrote of their versions of an “ideal” society, in that she has specific points that argue against Rousseau’s.  Rand argues that the individual is the heart of creativity and discovery in a community and not social institutions, such as the Councils in Anthem, whereas Rousseau argues that social planning and institutions kept a community in check.  Rand showcases Rousseau’s ideal society as the one in which Equality 7-2521 live in and uses her own ideas to make her own “ideal” society.  By subtly making connections to modern and famous works, places and situations, as well as ideas, also by leaving many details vague, such as the description of characters, Rand can connect to virtually any audience, because they can envision how they think the people should look and they can make connections to modern events to better understand why Equality 7-2521 did what they did and why the community they left was as it was.

People like to understand—especially motives.  They like to know why events happen, why people make their decisions, and why situations are like they are.  By keeping up with current events and reading Anthem during the time in which it was first published, an individual could make connections and envision their own reasons as to what happened in the “Unmentionable times” (Anthem) and make up their own setting.  The city described in the book is quite vague, but the big city feel so close to farming fields and underground tunnels could make someone from, say, New York City, understand where everything would take place instead of thinking of a few buildings in one place and a farm in another next to a grouping of trees, all in seemingly random placement.  They can connect on another level to what they’re reading, which makes them like the work more.  Rand’s take on modern events in her life as well as connections she subtly made to modern day places and ideas of others created a spike up in interest in her as a writer, which showed in number of copies sold of this and her next books.  People understand her writing which makes them like it more.

Outside reading in connection with the two prologues we read in class

The Prologue by Anne Bradstreet describes the way in which Equality 7-2521 are supposed to act in their society.  In her first stanza, Bradstreet starts off by calling her writing bad her pen “humble” and says that what she’s writing shouldn't be compared to that of men because theirs is good writing.  Rand starts off her novel with the words “It is a sin to write this,”(p.1) which sets up all the events in the book as sinful and against whatever their society and/or overall higher power stand for.  This is reminiscent of Puritanism in that Puritans believed that everyone was sinful and that God was the best and decided that, much as the World Council does in Anthem.  In her next three stanzas, Bradstreet further describes her writing as broken and no worthy of praise, which is how the people of the City were supposed to see themselves when they acted out of character.  Abnormality in women’s actions in a Puritan society garnered the same reactions from other members of the society as abnormality of character in Anthem did, such as shown by the people’s reactions to Equality 7-2521’s unveiling of their discovery and the reactions Bradstreet expected to get from her poems.  In the sixth stanza of her poem, Bradstreet states that the Greeks got their ideas from women (the Muses) and in Anthem the whole history behind Equality 7-2521’s discovery was from Unmentionable times, which was the past events that no one was allowed to talk about.  The underlying history makes women and the Unmentionable times important and a huge factor in society, but nonetheless a factor less in the spotlight than the modern issues and the more important/better ones—what the World Council says to believe and men’s writings.  In her seventh stanza, Bradstreet claims that she isn't trying to be as amazing as men and that she doesn't expect the same reaction from her readers much as Equality 7-2521’s intention with their discovery was to add insight and a new idea to their society.  Both these men and Bradstreet want to add to the melting pot of strict ideals and rules of their respective societies their abnormal ideas to try and broaden the spectrum for what their society allows and to try and give their side (women writers and normal Street Sweepers at the bottom of their social pyramid) a winning hand.  The whole point of Bradstreet’s prologue was to make other men’s prologues and poems on similar topics seem better and more elegant much as Equality 7-2521’s goal with their discovery was for the World Council to recognize it and implement it, no mention of their own recognition—just more glory for the Council for people would think it their insight rather than that of a street sweep.  This goal connects to Puritanism in that the lifelong goal of Puritans was to glorify God and the overarching goal behind Equality 7-2521’s discovery was for the City to be a better place. 

Prologue by Edward Taylor has similar connections to Anthem as Anne Bradstreet’s prologue did, save for one idea, which is that one person can make a world of difference if they believe enough.  Taylor never says that one person can glorify God and get forgiveness but he writes in his poem that just one person can do their hard work and get noticed, enough to make a difference to others as well as/or to themselves, and that they don’t need to follow rules to do so as long as what they believe that what they’re doing is right and moral and for the best.  In Anthem, Equality 7-2521 just wants to make a difference in their society and they honestly think their idea good and amazing.  They break rules by following their desires—they stay out late in a forbidden place and use tools that are most likely not allowed in the City to make something that may or may not be completely disastrous all for the risk of getting recognized.  Later on in the book when Equality 7-2521 and the Golden One run off into the woods, they are following their passion and glorifying what they believe in much as Taylor says to do in his Prologue, much as Puritanism expects hard work towards glorification of God from its citizens.  The way Taylor writes about his yearning to glorify God in as many ways as he can connects to the yearning for knowledge of Equality 7-2521.  In the last parts of the novel, in which the Golden One and Equality 7-2521 find the house in the forest, the way they talk about what they’re going to do—live there and make their living their own way—Rand has connected to Taylor’s type of motivation in that they are doing all that they can to do what they think is a good thing—they ran away from the only society they've ever known and are now living in some strange home with a flat roof and walls of windows that somehow support the upper floors—to these characters.  They know its abnormal and they know some people will frown upon it but they are doing this for a good cause, much as Taylor says that what the crumb of dust lives for is to glorify God.  Equality 7-2521 and the Golden One know that they aren't causing this huge movement within their society—they are crumbs of dust in the whole aspect, but they are following their passion, which is Taylor’s main idea.  

Outside reading in connection to Puritanism

In Anthem by Ayn Rand, Puritanism referred to in that the two men are in a Puritan-like society, which is one that is strict with rules and social orders about events in public and private lives.  Rand refers to this in her story with the setup of her characters, with the elect people being the ones who don’t have to get up every morning and work the fields like representing the ones in Puritan society that were “saved”—those who were going to heaven regardless.  The working men and women in this book represent those who weren't saved—they worked hard to try and get in good with God, to try and make Him see and forgive them for whatever sin they did to not being able to get into Heaven.  The men, Equality 7- 2521, learned too fast for their society which got them in trouble, like in Puritan society—if knowledge and ideas come easy to a person without explanation, he must be a sinner or in the wrong because a person is supposed to work for God to notice him, and that’s the only way it was done.  The idea of “a city on a hill” is reflected in the layout and description of the city in Anthem in that where Equality 7- 2521 grew up and worked is described as being “white and clean and bare of all things”(p.20) and their daily lives are described in a few sentences because of how repetitive and uneventful they had to be and were—abnormality of any form was frowned upon—and the City center, where all the important events happened, is described with vivid words, describing events, such as the burning of the Transgressor.  This major difference between the two places and the fact that when Rand talks about the city she writes the City make the City seems like the place to be, the best place from which a person would be able to see the sky and heaven when they looked at it from down below and connects this book yet again to Puritanism.  The house in the woods that the Golden One and Equality 7-2521 find is their “city on a hill” in that when they first see it Rand writes that they saw it as “a white flame among the trees”(p.89) and that the rooms were “full of light.”(p.90), which makes the random house in the woods seem like this glorious place that is as close to heaven on earth as they’re going to get.  What all the children in the Home of Students before they went to bed, “We are nothing.  Mankind is all.  By the grace of our brothers are we allowed our lives.  We exist through, by and for our brothers who are the State.  Amen,” (p.21) references Puritanism in that the students are like the people in Puritan society, recognizing that they aren't important and their society is what is best.  They live to work and to make their society a better one as well as one in which there is a clear hierarchy, in a Puritan’s case with God at the top and in a character from Anthem’s case, one in which the World Council/ the society as a whole is at the top.  By ending what they say in “Amen” it’s as if the children are praying, even though there are no books and no religion in the City. 

The discovery Equality 7-2521 made and worked on in secret represents God in a way in that they were trying their hardest to make it an object and concept that everyone could understand without fear or confusion as to what it really was.  The way Equality 7-2521 talk about their new discovery as a concept that is “not for all men to see, but only for those who will seek them” (p.52) connect to Puritanism in that Puritans believed that a person had to work hard to get where he was if God allows it and that there is the idea of limited atonement make them seem like the “chosen” ones in their own little world in the tunnel.  The discovery is also another representation of God in that Equality 7-2521 “followed it”(p.53), they regarded its progress as a “miracle” (p.53)that “defies all [known laws]”(p.53).  God was followed and considered a miracle maker in that what he did could only be done by him, no other explanation needed.  The gap between the World Council and others is similar to the gap between God and people in that all the people listen to the World Council for what to do and how to act and all the people listen to God through what happens in their lives to show how he feels.  Everyone in a Puritan society believes and fears and reveres God and in the society in the book Anthem they do the same for the World Council—citizens didn’t argue with what it had to say and they didn’t give their opinion on it unless asked for it.  Like with how the Puritans dealt with God’s actions and dealings, both good and bad, the people in the book and society would take it in stride and ask for more.   The society as a whole is yet another representation of God in that people’s lives revolve around what happens in it.  They have strict schedules, the workers get up at the same time and do the same work in hopes of bettering the City in the same way that Puritans woke up and did their due diligence in hopes of glorifying God and getting rewarded for it.   Their life purpose is to glorify god much as Equality 7-2521’s life purpose is to serve in their community.

Final Draft of Symbols Paper

Wendy Conklin

28 August, 2013

Mr. McElveen

Block 2 English 2

                                             What makes me "me"

I have to admit; finding symbols of me was pretty difficult.  After thinking it over again and again I finally came up with some that describe different aspects of me in terms of behavior, personality, and hobbies.  Each in their own way makes up a different aspect of my life but I can honestly say that without of just one of these symbols or without one of the experiences that I have associated with a symbol, there’s no way I would be the same person I am today on one level or another.  From books to glasses, a camp lanyard and an iPod, even a paintbrush, my symbols make me “me”.

A book is a wonderful symbol of me, in my opinion.  This is because well first of all I like to read a lot and reading is an activity that I will always pick over the probably “more important” activities such as sleep or in some extreme cases, homework.  I stay up late just to finish a chapter or a whole book if I really want to and it has ended up an activity that people remember me by.   Many of the parents at my brother’s basketball games ask what book I’m on each time they see me and at camp, the only afterhours phone usage I participated in was to use the light to read by.  In literal terms, a book is an awesome object that I can read when bored or when I really want to, an object that I will always finish regardless of whether I like it or not, and a book I will (hopefully) always enjoy reading.

I escape into books.  I’ll get into a zone when I read that is hard to get me out of. I can go to Neverland one day and to Wonderland the next while camping out in Jurassic Park during my free time and I can do it all by myself whenever I want.  Reading is also a way for me to relieve stress.  All of the books that I read describe me in different ways.  I read many different genres, so is not really fair to say that only one of them describes my personality.  First off there are the more serious books that are more similar to Traitor by Gudrun Pausewang, which is way different from the more chick-flick books such as those written by Gayle Forman.  Then there are the more adventurous magic-y books similar to The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern and the action, fantasy, teen fiction books that I love such as The Hourglass Door by Lisa Mangum and even then all of these are different from the more documentary like fiction and nonfiction books that make me think such as The Stranger by Albert Camus, The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery, and Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris.  These books prompt me to consider all that is around me when and after I read them, and as good as they are the result of all this thinking makes my head hurt.  In spite of that, though, all the ideas that result make for some quite interesting art ideas for later.  It being that these genres are so different from one another show the different sides of my personality, from the hopeless romantic to the deep thinking logical book nerd and even the daring and adventure-craving girl that is bold outgoing.  All of these personality traits, as different as they are, make up the little bits and pieces of me that make me who I am today.

Music works in a very similar way to books in how they describe me, although music describes me in different ways. My iPod has such an array of songs and artists from Mozart to Chris Brown, One Direction, and even some Skrillex, that just the mix of them together when you look at any given playlist of mine, could tell you a whole bunch of facts and events and emotions of me for any given time of the year.  There are my upbeat playlists that have songs on them that make me smile and there are my sad playlists that make me cry and there is even a playlist that I have for homework and studying that consists of mostly instrumental music.  Then there’s my everyday playlist that is constantly being edited to fit my actions and emotions.  By just looking at the songs on the screen, friends can tell what kind of mood I’m in, which is way different from a book in that I will ready any type of book at any given time of day, but my music is my current stream of emotions put into words by other people playing over and over again in my and other’s ears. 

Aside from my iPod, I play French horn and sing in a choir.  Both of these activities make me a more rounded person and can make a frustrating task easier to understand in academics as well as sports.  When we have to control the speed in which we extend our breaths in choir, I can carry it over into swimming when we have hard breathing patterns and it calms me down because I’m not worried about when I’m going to have to breathe and not breathe.  Also, when we have complicated patterns and note orders in band, I connect the way in which I understand it to patterns and information learned in previous classes at school, whether it be history or math, and the connection helps me remember the both the pattern and the academic fact better.  Being that there’s usually a story to go with any given song on my iPod, by listening to a playlist I am reliving some of the memories which causes me sometimes to go off on really seemingly random rants and to have black sheep thoughts in a usually white sheep mind. 

All these random thoughts evoked from both my songs and my books can put me in a really creative mood, which connects with another one of my symbols: a paintbrush. Paintbrushes are tools that have always been around my house and painting has been a big part of my life ever since I was in preschool.  I enjoy painting, drawing, and most art Medias whenever I need an activity to pass the time as well as whenever I really have an idea I want to check out.  I can do it anytime and anywhere, and it shows up a lot on my notes and daily work.  Art is an activity that describes me in just as many ways as reading does; only it describes me to a different group of people.  While to some I am “the girl who reads at all the basketball games” I am also the “artistic girl” to many friends and family.

Besides liking and doing art myself, it’s a big part of my out of school life.  I work for the Arts Council of Baton Rouge at their holiday camps and recently I have been working at birthday parties and at festivals, helping children to hopefully come to enjoy art as much as I do.  Art makes my life more interesting.  I can have this super packed schedule, but with a party to work at or a really cool idea in my head I will forget about all the other worrisome tasks that I need to do and its one of my escapes because I don’t have to think too much and I can just concentrate, and in the end I have a product that makes me feel accomplished.  Art describes my more creative side- the side that likes doing fun school projects, the side that likes covering her wall with random but meaningful drawings on loose leaf, and the side that likes to have fun.  Also, the different medias and styles of art that I do go with my different social sides—doing art by myself, I’m quiet and I am focused, but with camp and while working at parties I’m pretty loud and patient as well as instructive. 

One of the most significant symbols of me is actually my most recently acquired ones.  It’s my lanyard from camp this past summer.  On this lanyard there are 4 pins: a pair of lungs, a “wall flower” pun pin, a tiara pin, and a pin with the Estonia flag on it.  This lanyard is a fairly small object that describes many parts of me- mainly the different sides of me seen in school and during sports.  Each of the pins describe a different aspect of me that may or may not be well known among my peers.  Altogether, put on the lanyard, the collective piece symbolizes my social quirks.

The lungs pin is from the anatomy class I took at camp and it is what I would look at before I got up to present a project- it reminded me to breathe.  Before most recent presentations I can be seen shaking, pale, seemingly nervous, and breathing really fast.  Lungs are for taking in air and supplying oxygen to the body, and so whenever I looked at it before standing up or even raising my hand in class, I would breathe.  I would calm down and clear my head, making it way easier for me to finish my presentation or thought process without crashing and burning.  I remember it when doing something really high in intensity, such as a hard swim set or dry lands practice, and I will calm down enough to get a good focus on what I’m doing so that I can improve.  This pin represents the side of me that’s extremely freaked out by presentations, swim events, doing certain tasks a lone as well as in a group, and it also represents the side of me that can also get up and go do whatever I need to once I get the hang of what I need to.

My wall flower pin has the word wall and a picture of a flower- wall flower- on it.  It actually represents both of my social personalities in one.  There’s the quiet and shy person, the wall flower, who is in class and in larger social situations with people that I might not really know and then there’s the more outgoing, bright and bubbly side of me that is represented by the bright colors of the pin as well as the funny aspect of it.  I am the kind of person that won’t just go up to a complete stranger or even a past acquaintance and strike up a conversation.  I have to really consider it and then I freak out and think of my lung pin and breathe and think of my Estonia flag pin and know that there’s a chance that I won’t mess up terribly and I can turn into that bubbly girl if I need to.  In class I am usually quiet and reserved, thinking of what I could say, but never really saying it, but some teachers have said I act bubbly and happy; bubbly-ness doesn’t quite equal confidence though, which is why my next pin has a significant meaning to me as well.

I use the tiara pin to remind myself to be confident in social as well as academic, athletic, and musical situations.  It’s a reminder to me that I’m always in a crown whether or not others can see it and that just because I don’t get something right away doesn’t mean that I’m extremely weird or different.  On the day of camp that some girls and I got to wear a tiara and tutu I was way more confident and I didn’t freak out over speaking up and I met a lot more people who I normally would’ve been too nervous to talk to.  That experience made me happy- there’s no other word I could use that would describe it as well.  I raised my hand and discussed my whole opinion without mumbling.  During time trials and intense sets at swim practice I stopped shaking and freaking out and I just blocked out everything and did it, and I was happy with that.  In band, I can play when everyone else is, but when Mr. Taranto says “let’s hear the horns on this section”, it’s like I suddenly don’t know how to play.  Each time when I don’t get flustered, I know it’s not that I didn’t freak out, it’s that I didn’t look  like I was.

  Lastly, there’s my Estonia flag pin.  It reminds me to keep trying.  I’m one of those people who gets really frustrated after they can’t do a task, whether it be a math problem or, when I was little, dressing my Barbie dolls up.  I can try three times maximum and then I just lose my composure and get extremely frustrated and stop whatever I’m doing.  At the field day at camp we were partnered with a group and were all different countries and the group I was in was Estonia.  We got assigned events and I ended up being in long jump.  I can’t jump up or out to save my life.  I tried a bit before the event and I was terrible, I was thinking and saying that I was going to be awful- I was being a real Debbie Downer now that I think of it.  Something changed though when some people I didn’t even know in Estonia helped me by showing me tricks that helped with prepping for the jump and by being overall extremely supportive.  I had tried two times before and that third time, instead of being frustrated and giving up, I knew I had a team backing me up as well as the knowledge that if I messed up it wasn’t the end of the world.  Whenever I am doing a daunting task, if I feel like giving up, knowing that there’s a team who cares about you- not about how well you do- and knowing that in the long run it’s just another task that gets done, I can be that person who tries and can do what they want when they set their mind to it.

As a whole, my lanyard represents me in all the ways I am at any given time in or out of school: quiet- in volume and in how I portray myself in social situations such as a dance, shy- even around my best friends and family, a hyper nut, a laughing lunatic- I am easily amused, confident- tiaras can do that to a person, and let’s not forget the frustration over not understanding certain topics; or the frustration from when I can’t see.  That frustration, though, depends on my glasses.

My last symbol that describes me is my glasses.  I literally cannot see 5 feet in front of me clearly without them.  I wear them all the time unless I absolutely have to take them off.  They have pretty much become a part of me over time as I have had pair after pair, prescription after prescription ever since pre-k.  Even eye patches at one point.  People recognize me by my glasses—some of my friends haven’t recognized me without them on before.  Some say it’s because of how I look and others because of how I act without them.  My glasses represent the part of me that’s the ‘normal’ me—the one that is at school, the one that goes to academic camps, the one that reads all the time at her brothers basketball games, and the “me” I am without them on can be described as more outgoing—it’s like I can do whatever I would like to do without that one defining factor holding me down.  If people can’t tell that it’s you doing things, you get more confident in what you’re doing.  I guess it’s my rebellious side- the side that goes outside of the box more by doing various activities. 

The outside of my glasses, the more plain side is what most people see first when they see me—it’s that defining factor- thick black lines on the side of my face connected from my ears to my nose.  The inside of my glasses have purple stripes and are colorful and it describes my more outgoing side that most people don’t see unless they really know me and that defines the other side of me that most people eventually get to know. 

As for any other symbols that describe me, I could think of some, but they wouldn’t work as well as these four.  Aside from some of their individual representations of me, the symbols all describe some part of my personality.  This is because I change mine a lot.  I act so many different ways at different times and places on different days depending on, yes, more different contributing factors.  Some of these symbols affect parts that others don’t and they affect me in different ways.    My symbols, quirky and pretty different with the same basic underlying idea, describe me as a person pretty well in my opinion.

A Rough Rough Draft of the Symbols Paper

I have to admit, finding symbols of me was pretty difficult.  After thinking it over again and again I finally came up with some that describe different aspects of me in terms of behavior, personality, and hobbies.  Each in their own way makes up a different aspect of my life but I can honestly say that without of one of these symbols or without one of the experiences that I have had that made the symbol mean something to me, theres no way I would be even remotely the same person on one level or another.

One symbol that describes me would have to be a book.  This is because well first of all I like to read a lot and that’s kind of my thing whenever I get a spare second and have a book on hand.  I stay up late just to finish a chapter or the whole book if I really want to and it’s kind of something people remember me by; one of my brother’s coaches knew me as ‘the girl who reads at all then games’ and my friends at camp would use their phones after hours but my roommate corrected me when I said I did because I used it as a light to finish my book.  In literal terms, a book is something that I can read when bored or when I really want to, something that I will always finish regardless of whether I like it or not, and its something I will (hopefully) always enjoy reading.

A book is something that I most likely will have on my person and it’s something that I enjoy reading most of the time.  It’s also something that describes me in many ways.  There are many different kinds of books I like to read so it’s not really I guess fair to say that there’s only one that describes me as a person because of the different genres that I enjoy reading.  First off there’s the more serious books like Traitor by Gudrun Pausewang , which is way different from the more I guess chick-flick-like books like those written by Gayle Forman or the more adventurous magic-y books like The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern.  It being that these genres are so different from one another sort of shows the different sides I have and it shows all aspects of me rather than some other symbols that show just one big part of me as a person.

A symbol that represents a pretty significant part of my life would be a paintbrush. Paintbrushes are something that have always been around my house and since watercolor is my favorite media when it comes to art as like a class or like art as a whole, a paintbrush is a good symbol.  I enjoy painting and drawing whenever I need something to pass the time as well as whenever I really have an idea I want to check out.  I can do it anytime and anywhere, and it shows up a lot on my notes and daily work. 

Besides liking and doing art myself, it’s a big part of me because I work at a kids art camp and at little kid’s painting parties and I have done some community service work that involved painting so it ends up being something that’s more than just to pass the time because it benefits others in a way that makes it mean more to me.  As well as being helpful to others at times, art makes my life more interesting.  I can have this super packed schedule, but with a party or a really cool idea in there I will forget about all the things I need to do and its one of my escapes because it’s something I don’t have to worry about or think too much about, but its work so I always feel accomplished after.  Also, the different things I do sort of go with my different social sides—doing art by myself, I’m quiet and I am focused, but with camp and parties I’m pretty loud and there’s way more to do so it helps with multitasking when I’m back at school. 

One of the most significant symbols of me is actually my most recently acquired ones.  It’s my lanyard from camp this past summer.  On it there are 4 pins: a pair of lungs, a “wall flower” pun pin, a tiara pin, and a pin with the Estonia flag on it.  This lanyard is something that describes many parts of me- mainly the different sides of me seen in school.  The lungs pin is from the anatomy class I took at camp and it is something that I would look at before I got up to present a project and it reminded me to breathe.  Before every single presentation I would be shaking, my heart would be beating insanely fast, I’d be dizzy, and I’d be freaking out.  This pin represents the side of me that’s extremely freaked out by presentations, swim events, doing certain things a lone as well as in a group, and it also represents the side of me that can also get up and go do whatever I need to once I get started.

My wall flower pin I have and it has the word wall and a picture of a flower- wall flower- on it.  It actually represents both of my social personalities on it.  There’s the quiet and shy person, the wall flower, who is in class and in larger social situations with people that I mostly know and then there’s the more outgoing, bright and bubbly side of me that is represented by the bright colors of the pin as well as the pun on it- I laugh a lot, I’m loud, and I’m quite bubbly around people I know as well as in larger social situations with mostly people I don’t know.  Bubbly-ness doesn't quite equal confidence though, which is why my next pin means something to me as well.

The tiara is something I use to remind myself to be confident- it helps with being confident in answers I say or write in class and with my overall shy-ness around people who aren't even necessarily strangers.  It represents the more confident outgoing social butterfly that I can be sometimes.  It’s a reminder to me that I’m always in a crown whether or not others can see it and it makes me more confident.  On the day of camp that some girls and I got to wear a tiara and tutu I was way more confident and I didn’t freak out over speaking up and I met a lot more people who I normally would've been too nervous to talk to.

  Lastly, there’s my Estonia flag pin.  It reminds me to keep trying.  I’m one of those people who gets really frustrated after they can’t do something after the third try- third time’s a charm right?  Not always.  At the field day at camp we were all different countries and the residential group we were paired with and the one we were in was Estonia.  We got assigned events and I ended up being in long jump.  I can’t jump up or out to save my life.  I tried a bit before the event and I was terrible but my friends were cheering me on and so when I went up there I told myself- this time will work.  After two tries of no such thing ‘working’, I finally got it.  The pin represents my friends and supporters who are just as an important part of me as any other aspect of myself. 

As a whole, the lanyard represents me in all the ways I am at any given time: quiet, shy, a hyper nut, a laughing lunatic, confident, and let’s not forget the frustration over not understanding something I feel like I should know; or the frustration from when I can’t see.  But that depends on my glasses.

My last symbol that describes me is my glasses.  I literally cannot see 5 feet in front of me clearly without them.  I wear them all the time unless I absolutely have to take them off.  They are something that have pretty much become a part of me over time as I have had pair after pair, prescription after prescription ever since pre-k.  They are something that people recognize me by—some of my friends haven’t recognized me without them on before.  Some say its because of how I look and others because of how I act without them.  My glasses represent the part of me that’s the ‘normal’ me—the one that is at school, the one that goes to academic camps, the one that reads all the time at her brothers basketball games, as well as the side of me that’s more sort of outgoing side—its like I can do anything without the thing that defines me.  I guess its my rebellious side- the side that goes outside of the box more.  The outside of my glasses, the more plain side is what most people see first when they see me—its what defines me in a way.  The inside of my glasses have purple stripes and are colorful and it describes my more outgoing side that most people don’t see unless they really know me. 

As for any other symbols that describe me, I could think of some, but they wouldn't work as well as these four.  Aside from some of their individual representations of me, the symbols all describe some part of my personality.  This is because I change mine a lot.  I act so many different ways at different times and places on different days depending on, yes, more different things.  Some of these symbols affect parts that others don’t and they affect me in different ways.  Sad books leave me sad but there isn't anything on my lanyard that would make me feel sad so anything about camp makes me bubbly.  My symbols, quirky and pretty different with the same sort of underlying idea, describe me as a person pretty well in y opinion.